Get in gps of 3 (4 only if some are left over). Some people just don't communicate in larger gps. We won't hear from your 'wagon' if you're more than three–four at most. Choose a leader who will either speak for or make sure that the group members share with us what you've discovered.

read Matt 26:36-42 in gps

1.	Whom does He address in this prayer?

a.	His Father

2.	What two things does He say?

a.	If possible let cup pass

b.	Not as I will (choose), but as You will. (choose)

3.	(In Gps) What does the 2nd part indicate about Jesus' relationship with His Father at this point?

a.	He was in conflict with His Father. I think that's incredibly significant. I think that's incredibly horrible! What brought this conflict. What is it over? The conflict is over us. Do you want to get more specific? Over me. Right here the decision is made whether to let us go or to do whatever it takes to hold onto us to me. God saw me separated from Himself and He couldn't bear being with His Son for eternity without me.

b.	When Coreena and I saw this as we were preparing we cried. We cried over our part in bringing this conflict. What is our part? Sin. Sin brings conflict. Once we sinned there was no good way to proceed. All God had to choose from were evil options. Breaking up the love within the Godhead or breaking off His love for us. Neither way was 'right.' Both were wrong. (When an 8 year old girl gets pregnant and is unable to carry the child to term, there's a conflict. How does a family value the child-mother's life and the unborn infant's life at the same time? There's no good way to do it. There's conflict. In the same way, when we sinned, God as our parent could not value His own life in Jesus and our lives at the same time. There was no rule to cover this situation. There's no good way to go about it. But God found a way to sacrifice the parent for the child and still let both live.)

4.	Apply–what do you have to say to God about this? This is the foundation for what's next, so let's not skip it. Are you willing to let God love you this much tonight. All I could say was, "Daddy, thank You for being my Daddy." What do you have to say to God?

We're going to go on–if you're not willing to let God love you this much then what follows won't be applicable–but maybe it will allow you to experience God's love.

5.	What did Jesus do when He found Himself in conflict with His Father?

a.	He prayed

6.	To whom?

a.	His Father–the very one with whom He had the conflict

7.	What does this tell us about Jesus' way of dealing with conflict?

a.	He doesn't let it fester. He gets it out in the open and addresses it.

8.	After Jesus addresses His father by name, what are the two contrasting parts of His prayer?

a.	If possible let cup pass. What function does this part of the prayer fill? Why does He pray this. Why does He include this? He could just say the second part.–asking for what He wants, being vulnerable

b.	Not as I will (choose), but as You will. (choose) What function does this part play?–Giving the Father permission to say 'no'/letting Him off the hook?

9.	(In Gps) What does this tell us about Jesus' relationship w/ the Father?

a.	Unity through diversity

b.	Good boundaries

c.	Healthy

d.	Interdependent

e.	Not a doormat, but not a rebel

f.	Jesus valued His relationship with His Father more than His life–and in a contradictory way He valued being in right relationship w/ Father more than being with/connected to intimate with His Father. Like a person who's willing to grant a divorce rather than a fight over it. Or like being willing to let a boyfriend or girlfriend go for their sake–to be in right relationship even though you're separated.

10.	Ultimately, why was Jesus praying?

a.	Not to get His way

b.	Not to give in.

c.	To maintain relationship. so that He could receive either what He wanted or what the Father wanted and not resent the Father for either one.

11.	This is a model for all healthy relationships. What do we often do, when in conflict that is unlike what Jesus did w/ His Father?

a.	One or the other

12.	(In gps) Why do we do that? (Make a list of all the reasons you can think of)

a.	Fear

b.	we don't recognize that it's unhealthy

c.	We're trying to protect ourselves

d.	We don't have it in us. We are not competent to ask for what we want and give permission to say no. We believe that our life will be ruined if they don't do exactly what we want! This can't be done as a formula–it must be done from the heart and I can't put it in my heart to do so–God must do that work for me, I can only submit to it being done by Him.

13.	(In gps) What's the result of us doing one w/out the other? (think of times you've seen it or done it yourself and describe what happens on either end of the spectrum.)

a.	If we don't ask for what we want

i.	We become doormats/martyrs–it destroys trust 'cause people know we are giving unwillingly. They are afraid we'll snap at any moment.

ii.	Maria

b.	If we don't give permission to say no?

i.	We become manipulators/control freaks–we've got the other person by the neck. We don't allow them to have any say.

ii.	Cori

c.	In either case we've cut off relationship, either by w/drawing (a) or denying the other's identity (b).

14.	Application: (in small gps)

a.	Which is more your tendency?

i.	Don't ask or don't give permission? May depend on the relationship/situation?

b.	How does this affect your relationship with God?

c.	How can you watch and pray this week that you will not enter not into temptation?

15.	Some willing to share w/ the larger gp what you've discovered to edify the larger gp?

16.	Conclusion

a.	If we believe God is calling us to be a community of people who display His glory and who speak the truth in love. We need to act on it in our relationships. I preached a wonderful sermon on this at my last church and someone who knew how I'd worked behind his back to keep him out of leadership positions said, "So does openness and honesty apply to the nominating committee too?" All I could do was act like I didn't know what he was talking about. I'd been a total hypocrite because of my fear.

1.	How many times did Jesus pray?

a.	44 prayed a third time the same thing.

2.	Why did He pray three times (see context).

a.	Peter's three denials?

b.	He prayed as His situation changed–each time bringing it before God. This is why we need to pray continually. I may trust God today with my circumstances, but how often do I need to pray? As often as my circumstances change.

i.	He prayed as one supported by disciples

ii.	He prayed as one who'd been disappointed by men, but who still sought their companionship and encouraged them

iii.	He prayed as one alone with none to help.

c.	How often do I need to pray?

i.	As many times as it takes for me to let others go without resentment. Jesus prayed until He was done. He prayed until He did not resent the Father's will or the disciples' weakness. Jesus is really caught in the middle. He's caught between the Father's strength in mercy toward others and the disciples' weakness in vengeance toward others.

3.	Why did He pray to His Father about it?–give me scripture from the context

a.	He was sorrowful to the point of death. Why is He sorrowful?

i.	He doesn't want to be forsaken by God–to lose relationship

b.	He didn't want to enter into temptation. What does that tell you?

i.	He recognized that He could enter into temptation, but He didn't want to.

ii.	–Is it possible His spirit was willing, but His flesh was weak?

iii.	What is this experience called? Intrapersonal conflict!

c.	Why did he pray when he was in intrapersonal conflict?

d.	What was the temptation?

e.	don't give me a surface answer. He didn't want to go through it is only one part of it–'cause if He didn't want to go through with it he didn't have to–He asserted that he could ask the Father to send down legions of angels. This is not that prayer. What sort of strain is this situation placing on Jesus' relationship with His father? conflict

f.	What need did He have?