Pray for Jill–give update. Ministry updates? Spiritual Growth?

We learned last week from the latter part of this chapter that God does have limits on His forgiveness, not on His attitude or his willingness to forgive the undeserving, but on his willingness to let the unrepentant do damage to others. We must have the same attitude–which forgives before being asked, and never 'needs' the other person to change before I can go on with my life.

How can I illustrate this? Conversation with my Dad–I told him that nothing he can do will stop me from loving him, but I'm going to let him know when I wish things were different. I was willing to forgive whether he asked or not, but I let him know that I was not willing to act like it doesn't matter to me how he treats me or other people. Same with God. He is willing to forgive. What is forgiveness. We identified the debt–what we owe God–it's actually relationship. That's why we can't ever pay it back or make it up to Him. We can't go back and make up for the lost time, the time when we weren't present with our Daddy.

So in light of this, what is forgiveness?

The point is not some rules, but a relationship. Forgiveness of the relational debt means that He is willing to be in relationship with me at any time. He misses me. Forgiveness means He doesn't push me away because I pushed Him away. Forgiveness is the only thing that makes sense for God. He misses me when I turn from Him–why would He punish Himself and me with separation when we could be reunited?

And we must in some way have the same limits to our willingness to let another person damage people freely when they are unrepentant–within our circle of influence. We are not responsible as vigilantes for keeping law and order when there are civil governments entrusted with that power

Mat 18:15

Facts:

1.	What situation does Jesus' instruction in v.15 apply to?

a.	If your brother sins

2.	Who?

a.	My brother

3.	Does what?

a.	Sins

4.	Just in v. 15 What two things am I to do , and in what setting?

a.	Go

b.	and show him his fault

c.	in private.

5.	What are the two options my brother has at this point?

a.	Listen or not listen to me

6.	What is the result if he listens?

a.	I have won (gained) my brother.

Interp:

1.	From the context, who is my brother?

a.	Part of the church.

b.	Someone I have relationships

2.	What is communicated by 'going?'

a.	I'm not waiting for them to come back.

3.	What does show him his fault mean in context?

a.	You've wandered away/you owe me

4.	Why is it important to show him his fault from the context?

a.	As long as he's unaware that he's wandered we can't be together.

b.	It's in the way of relationship. It's hurting him and others. If I act like nothing's wrong I am hiding part of myself and withholding from the relationship.

c.	As Christians we often swallow it and say, "I've forgiven him," but we don't ever go and open the issue and point out the seriousness of the problem–but we also don't keep the relationship.

5.	What's the significance of the order of these two things, go 1st, show fault 2nd.

a.	Mercy first, truth second. Gospel!

6.	Why alone/in private?

a.	To be less threatening–to win our hearts not just our outward obedience–or push us further toward rebellion.

7.	What does going alone communicate?

a.	To show care and interest in the other.

8.	In the context, if he listened what would he hear?

a.	You've wandered/you owe

9.	But in what context would he hear those things?

a.	I came and I care–I have pity, your debt is canceled, you can go free

10.	What does it mean then to win/gain your brother?

a.	Be back in relationship with him.

Write these key things on the board: go (don't wait), show fault (be honest about the problem), go alone (for the sake of relationship)

11.	Looking at these things, someone tell me why we've gotten these instructions this way from Jesus!

a.	He didn't wait for me to come back! Hallelujah!

b.	He was honest about my sin problem because He wants to be in relationship with me.

c.	He came alone–without all the armies of heaven.

Application:

1.	In summary: Chalktalk, A has problem with B, A is supposed to go to who?

a.	B

2.	But what typically happens?

a.	A goes to C

3.	Why do we do this?–some typical reasons

a.	Not sure we're right

b.	bolster our case

c.	get allies to gang up on B

d.	carelessness

e.	habit

4.	What's really at the core of it?

a.	Not seeing Jesus–not understanding the gospel

b.	Missing either the seriousness of sin (so we don't show fault) or the necessity of grace (so we just let the relationship get destroyed). Missing this, we just go A to C without a second thought.

5.	Have you seen the seriousness of sin and how much God wants relationship with you? Who's worshiping Him tonight?

6.	Let's get practical with each other. What do I do when A comes to me and I am C?

a.	As soon as possible and as nicely as you can, say, "I assume you're coming to me because you've already done your Biblical duty." Show them their Biblical duty. Say so when were you thinking about doing this? Can I call you this week to see how it went? (Not to have a gripe session about how badly it went, but to help make sure it happens and to be there if there needs to be a C for another visit.)

7.	In what situations in my life am I A. Who in my life do I believe has wronged me in some way? And how might I be going to C.

a.	Stephen at work–I feel uncomfortable hearing this. I would want to show you the courtesy of not listening to others talk behind your back, so I'm not willing to listen when you do it. If I listen to you, you might feel good, but only until you're out of ear-shot 'cause you know I'm the kind of person that does this.

b.	New pastor in a new church.

c.	Heidi and her pastor story.

8.	Some questions end up being a little redundant–feel free to leave them out.

9.	(In context–What does it mean to sin?)

a.	Sin is debt–From our discoveries in the parable what is that debt?–lost time that could/should have been spent in loving relationship.

b.	Wander away–parable of the shepherd's loss or wandering sheep.